Allison and I have returned from Costa Rica and I will be posting regularly again. Including a video blog. (I’m open for suggestions, but I think I will bring it to protests, hell gigs, etc and see what happens. We are also thinking of doing 5 minute daily clips for Citizen Radio. Thoughts? )

We had a really good time on vacation but as you will see from the video we made below it was hard not to work. I don’t know if this is a bad thing. At first I was pretty pissed at myself and assumed I was the sterotypical fast talking New Yorker (see: jew) who couldn’t relax. When someone said Namaste I wanted to punch them in the face, when the plane landed I wanted to steal an old mans computer to check my twitter and find out if America bombed Iran yet, and I almost got eaten by a snake. That last one has nothing to do with being busy, I just felt I should share it with you, since I almost got eaten, by a fucking snake.

Here is the video and our channel which you should subscribe to

Citizen Radio Goes Honeymooning

Citizen Radio YouTube Channel

So – was it that bad? Kind of. Just the fact that we had 4 days surrounded by waterfalls, no internet, no stand up, no radio show, amazing rain forests and we had to make a silly improvised video is kind of weird. The point of a honeymoon was not to work. I think most honeymoon planning services have that as their motto. “Honeymoons the place you go not to make weird internet videos!”

That’s why we didn’t bring work. But within two days we had to create something, so we made the video and that was honestly one of the best parts of the vacation. Except of course when I almost got eaten by a snake. JUST KIDDING! THAT WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE!!! HAHAHAH! I HATE YOU NATURE!!!&$@^ Sorry.

The point is when you love your life vacations don’t mean much. In fact, sometimes they are kind of a pain in the dick. This isn’t to brag that I have a great life. It’s hard, we don’t have much money, the city we live in is like a giant mental patient, but we love what we do. And that should sorta be the point of life.

When I was really young before my parents got divorced we used to go on so many fucking vacations. I have no idea how we had the money but if we didn’t go on these vacations Armageddon would have ensued. The vacations were awesome, and I assumed vacations would stay awesome my entire life. Anything that went wrong in your life could be solved by a vacation!I hated school, my parents were growing apart, so we would fix it with giant sun hats!

Riddled in debt? Go to Florida!

Don’t really like your kids? Hawaii will fix that!

Two planes flew into building killing over 3000 people because of our imperialist foreign policy? Go shopping!

It was the ultimate American solution. When shit isn’t right, desperately try to bury it. Preferably on a sandy tropical beach.

What I never placed as a kid was the level of disappointment when everyone got home. I just thought it was a normal sorta adrenalin crash.

Why is Mom crying? That’s normal right? It’s probably because she’s so happy!

We shouldn’t need vacations to make up for shitty life choices made at home. Why spend your life stalling until the next time you get to go on an airplane? Why not make the scary choices in your real life?

Hate your job? Figure out a way to do what you love.

Scared to have kids? Don’t have them and use the money you save to help kids who are alive and need your help. Or just adopt a dog. You don’t need to pay for them to go to college. All thought that would be awesome. I now give it 6 months before some hollywood asshole pitches “Dog University!”  as the next hollywood blockbuster “Looks like everyone ate their homework” HAHAHAHA DEATH KILL DEATH @*^@^

Life lack a sense of purpose? Start volunteering.

You’re a shitty 80’s hack comic who is mean to young comics when they are starting out just because you think you are king of the firehouse gigs? You really think it’s that hard to write 30 minutes on how much you hate your wife? Well maybe you should just get a divorce you fat old fuck!&&@%^

Sorry again.

There is no reason you can’t be doing what you love now. I got a lot of shit for making the choices I made but they were worth it. Don’t be reckless but don’t be a coward either. Also and most importantly, join the youtube channel.




  1. Madeleine said:

    Dude that was so fucking funny. Also made me kind of glad you guys aren’t having kids, seeing how you treat little Dangles… (“I’m a Journalist, Motherfucker!”)
    Would be awesome to see more of them! It would be cool if you could take some videos of like after gigs, coversations with fans and stuff. Seeing other fans on facebook and hearing their emails is cool but it would be really sweet to see them in person and reassuring to see that they definatly exist.
    My mum and I go see gigs and comedy and stuff more than vacations, cause she can’t really afford to take time off work. It’s kind of like “I saw the Strokes three weeks ago, I can deal with fucking shit at school/work”.
    Hope it’s cool to comment here.