Welp. My dream since I was 16 is finally happening. Taking the rants, comedy, and songs you all know and love (plus some surprises) and teaming up with one the best producers and best musicians in the world to make my first full studio album. Not only that but if you PREORDER now, you get constant behind the scenes footage of making the album, Citizen Radio, CATS, and my tour. You can be part of this! Not only that but we have exclusives from guitars, to rare CR swag, jiujitsu lessons and vegan food! Fuck the suits. Lets do this together!



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Our first book #NEWSFAIL is out!. Written with my partner and cohost of Citizen Radio Allison Kilkenny. It’s called #Newsfail and you can get it here: book stores everywhere!

Time to be sappy! Not gonna spell check cause I already wrote a book so fuck you.

Dropping out of high school when I was younger got me labeled as stupid pretty fast. To be fair, I wasn’t good at school, and very high, but I always wanted to be smart. I’ve held this chip on my shoulder for a very long time. Never feeling like I was smart enough to hang with journalists or even people who went to a good school.

I thought I wasn’t informed enough to read or write about politics. I probably thought Noam Chomsky was a band.

Even after our show took off, we got to interview some of our heroes (like the band Noam Chomsky) I felt dumb telling people I wanted to write a book. To be fair, the only reason this happened is cause Allison is a great writer and knows how to spell. But I thought, I’m the clown, I go on stage and make the dick jokes. Leave the smart stuff to the people who didn’t fail spanish1 4TIMES.

In the pitch to Simon & Schuster we didn’t hold back. We turned down book pitches in the past when we really needed money cause they were shitty middle of the road ideas. We told our wonderful editor Sarah, “Look. We are gonna write a weird filthy political book. It’s gonna be anti war, pro=vegan, feminist, pro-palestine, and we are gonna take a big shit on all the news shows we need to get booked on to promote it.” and to our shock she said “yeah ok.”

At least for today I’m gonna consider myself an author. We wrote a book. It’s A medium I love, a medium that’s saved my life, a medium that turns words into adventures. We can add our names to that list now. All of the empty gigs, the times I was booed off stage, living out of our car for a year and a half just so I could shout words into a mic have come to this.

Maybe the book will flop. Maybe not. But it’s done. It will live forever and we did it because of all of you. The reason we were given this shot is because the Citizen Radio maniacs are out of their mind. By buying the book, sometimes more than one, being loud out twitter, requesting copies of #Newsfail for your library, you should that a little podcast shouldn’t be fucked with. This is your book.

Don’t let anyone make you feel stupid. Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do (right Locke?!) Do it. Do it with support or without it. Just have fun doing it. Like Bill Hicks said “enjoy the ride.

I hope this little book does well tomorrow. Help us be loud and force people to listen.


In case you missed it, What Alive People Do, dropped recently, got a review on Rolling Stone and shot to the top of the iTunes comedy chart.


Get it now in the Citizen Radio store to give your money to me and not a giant corporation! 

Also, I’ve got gigs coming up in New York at the end of the year, and San Francisco and Penn State early next year. Click on gigs and get tickets.


Tons of tour dates coming up. Cleveland, Madison, Newport/Cincinnati, New Orleans, Austin, Seattle and the UK for Leeds and Reading Festivals and the London VegFest. Check out the gigs page for tickets!


Yo maniacs, got some dates coming up in Boston, San Fran, Chicago, and Philly. Check it out on the tour page then come hear me yell about some bullshit.

Performing with Talib Kweli at Occupy Wallstreet

There are some moments in life you will never forget: when you fall in love, for example. And I don’t mean when you see someone you want to go to bed with. I mean love. As in your first thought isn’t, “wow look at them” it’s more like “aw, shit.” Like “fuck, everything is about to change.”

There is the first moment you stand up to your parents, the time you think you invented masturbation, and so on.

Going down to see Occupy Wall Street gets added to that list. Seeing people put their bodies on the line to stand up to bullies is one of the most powerful things I’ve witnessed. Seeing people who are called “unorganized” set up a water filtration systems, a kitchen, lost and found, teach-ins, law seminars, marches with unions, and a media center in the middle of a fucking park, was so jaw-dropping I was at a loss for words. To be honest, there is way too much to describe here, but if you want to hear coverage and interviews with guests like Naomi Klein, and marchers and organizers, check out last week’s Citizen Radio at

This is why the next night I decided to perform for them. However, every artist assumes they are not good enough so I called all my famous friends, and the only one that agreed to do it was the one I assumed was way too big to do it, but was so inspired by the movement he had no choice. As he says in the interview “It’s the truest America I’ve ever seen.”

Here is J.A Myerson leading the kids in the Peoples Mic, my performance, and Talib Kweli. And for the interview check out the October 10th Citizen Radio.

My New CD Is Number 3 On ITUNES COMEDY!

Thank you to everyone who purchased and wrote me such nice letters and tweets about the new CD. I’m so proud of it and am thrilled that you all like it.

If you have not ordered your copy yet I would love to get it to number one by the end of the day.

Here is the link!

OH! And if you can rate and review the fuck out of it on ITUNES and Amazon!

Thanks again, you guys are the best.


Hello friends, and people who found me because of a terrible accident that will end in a mean comment I shouldn’t let bother me but will — I’m on SHOWTIME this Thursday!

Myself, Lewis Black, Kathleen Madigan and Ron White will be on this week’s episode of The Green Room with Paul Provenza. Catch the premiere Thursday, August 4th at 11PM on Showtime with repeats throughout the next week.

Here is an interview with Lewis Black that has a clip of the two of us talking. Plus he says my name and confirms he knows me. Is this why I’m posting this? No. (Yes.) ITS HERE!

The show celebrates everything comedy should be: asking questions, challenging assholes, and free speech. Go back and check out the season premiere with Judd Apatow, Marc Maron, Bo Burnham, Garry Shandling, and Ray Romano. Also, Paul is rocking a Citizen Radio shirt. It’s pretty great.

Here are some things you won’t hear on The Green Room –

– I’ll be selling merch after the show!

– “So, how long have you two been seeing each other? OH SHE ANSWERED BEFORE YOU. YOU’RE IN TROUBLE! (Followed by some sort of dance.)

– “Let that be a black guy” followed by something incredibly racist.

– “Why did I get into comedy? The money.” You can replace money with respect, fame, love, so people would have the decency not to spit at me, etc.

– “It’s like they say in Entourage…”

– “Picture it, it’s Two and a Half Men meets Friends Meets Sex in The City.”

– “I’m really happy.”

Check out all the air times, plus clips and photos at The Green Room WEBSITE!

Why most people should never go to comedy clubs. Part 1.

Not a lot of people know what comedy is. This does not bode well for many comedians who have chosen a half-known, misunderstood profession to make a living with.

The amount of times satirists or storytellers have told relatives they do comedy — only to hear “so you do impressions?” or “you mean like skits?”– is too high a number to repeat here. (26,678,456)

The fact that bachelor and lady bachelor parties attend comedy clubs shows a failure on comedy’s part to explain what we do. Who shows up with cockhats, blinking necklaces, and shirts that say “put it in this hole” with an arrow pointing up, to sit quietly for a two hour show? What Best Man brings his mates out to a club, where you are supposed to sit and contemplate, while making sure that your cell phone is silenced?

The reason that these hordes of animals come to a comedy club is because they think the night will be all about them. When I was in Minneapolis, a bachelor party showed up. One of the dudes was wearing a huge crown, and another was wearing an over-sized pretend mustache.You do not wear that unless you want someone to say something. No one is getting ready to hit the streets, maybe chat up a lady or two, and then says  “WAIT! Where is my giant pretend Mustache?! I’m not going anywhere until I look like a child fiddler or cast member of There Will Be Blood.”

They assumed they would wear it, the comedian would say something, and then the show would be theirs!

What I thought was so great was none of the comics said a word to them. No attention was paid to the man in the crown or the dude wearing the mustache. When you hope for attention by wearing that, and no one says anything, it’s suddenly not funny. It’s really sad. A sad man, in the corner of a dark comedy club, wearing a pretend mustache.

I think the reason these people come is because many of the best comics don’t get on TV much.

No one sees Doug Stanhope or Daniel Kitson and thinks: “Gather the girls and the dildo hats! I know what I’m doing before I get married!” They see boring, bland, hacky, dogshit comedy and think, “You know what’s almost as funny as that dude on TV? A dildo hat!” And they are right.

So how do we stop these awful sub-humans from ending up front row, covered in glitter and sadness? Destroy them.